Only You
by Nic the Nefarious
Summary: Harry is losing touch with his friends as he secretly combats Voldemort with the help of Dumbledore. Draco knows of his unexplained absenses and wants answers. When Harry offers him the chance, who is he to refuse? Post OotP. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a repost of the first chapter under its new name Only You. Frankly I don't find it much of an improvement myself, but after a lot of thought I found that it was the only thing that really worked for the story. It will tie into it in later chapters. Once again I would like to say that updates for this story will be far between. Over the summer I will predict either bi-monthly or monthly, but after school starts once again I really have no clue how things willl work out. What I would like to say is that I enjoy this story immensely and I enjoy writing, so the chances of me getting bored and dropping it are slim to none. I assure you I will always have an explanation for my rare updates, even if they are as mundane as 'I had writer's block'. In total I'm predicting this story to have ten chapters, all of the same or greater length than this one.

The romance in this fic is a bit hard for me to explain without giving away the ending. I will say that the main pairings will be Harry/Ginny and Draco/Pansy/OC. The reason for the slash warning is because of the current of attraction felt about each other by both Harry and Draco. Don't expect much to happen between them in this fic. I doubt they will ever 'hope into bed' and seeing that I already revealed that I know how I am ending this, well, you should get the picture. Okay, only one more thing left before the story. This story does not and will not ever, no matter how much anyone begs, have a happy ending. Sorry, that's just not my style when it comes to Harry.

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Only You

Nic the Nefarious

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made off this work.

Part the First

The common room felt stuffy and constricting as he sat there with his two best friends. They were arguing, but this was nothing new to him, and he was only thankful that they had stopped trying to interrogate him after his talk with the Headmaster. He really did not want to discuss their meeting. No matter how close he was to his friends.

He stood up and slowly walked away from the pair. They didn't even look in his direction. Yes, they were some friends all right, he though with a mental sigh. He climbed out the portrait hole and started off down the corridor.

Portraits glanced at him as he walked but he didn't pay them any attention. He was already well aware that they would run off and alert the Headmaster of his position soon. That was their job after all, and they did it well. The time was at least an hour after curfew but he wasn't all that worried. Detentions and house points didn't bother him anymore. He had bigger things to think about.

The air outside the castle was cool for early spring but the skies above were clear and the moon was half full. As soon as he left the shelter of the castle and felt the cool breeze on his skin, he felt liberated. It was a wonderful thing not to have eyes and whispers following him at all times. Even he needed time to think and relax sometimes, he couldn't be everyone's hero all the time.

The lake was glistening in the moonlight and he fancied that he could just see the giant squid wallowing in the distance. He threw himself down by the waterside with his back against a tree. The breeze blew up again and tugged on his robes. The movement of the wind seemed to jog something in his memory and he reached into his robes and pulled out a pack of muggle cigarettes.

He had his cousin to thank for this and he reminded himself to blame him if he ever got lung cancer. The idiot had made him hide them so his parents wouldn't find them. Needless to say he never got them back. He turned the pack over in his hands and pulled one out, lighting it with his wand and replacing the pack in his pocket.

He took a long drag and blew the smoke out to be carried away by the wind. Already he could feel his frazzled nerves settling down and his worries fading. He smoked in silence, his thoughts lingering on his earlier conversation with the Headmaster. It was just another discussion of fulfilling the prophecy and even more lessons on the Dark Arts and ways to defeat them. He never thought he would have to learn the Dark Arts, and he had certainly never thought Albus Dumbledore would be his teacher.

He was just about to light his second cigarette when the sounds of approaching footsteps reached his ears. His body tensed in preparation for a potential fight only to freeze in surprise when a stunned voice met his ears and a head of blond hair appeared against the relative darkness.

"Potter!"

His body relaxed slightly. Malfoy might be a complete prick but he was relatively harmless if Snape's words could be believed and he was sure that in this matter they could. He lit his cigarette and stared up at his childhood rival.

"Malfoy," he replied in an uncaring tone.

The blond smirked at him and said eagerly, "Just wait Potter, when this gets out you will in so much trouble."

"You think the professors will believe your word over mine?" he asked with fake curiosity. Really he was wondering if he would ever be allowed more than half an hour's peace.

Malfoy glared at him but he could tell that the hate behind it was faked. Their petty rivalry was unimportant with a war going on, but after six years there wasn't much else between them and they were content to insult each other for the peace of mind of the student body. After all, if Potter and Malfoy hate each other all was right with the world.

"Sit down Malfoy," he said suddenly. There was no one around to see them and what went on when the lights were out was nobody's business but their own.

Malfoy looked down at him with a masked expression. His whole body was glowing under the moonlight and his hair looked almost silver. He found it strange that Malfoy looked like an angel and was thought of as a demon, where as he, with his dark hair and eyes, looked like a demon but was seen as an angel. In all actuality he was probably a pleasant mix of the two, they both were.

"Why would I want to do that?" Malfoy's reply was scathing but, again, he sensed the actual question behind the sarcasm.

He sighed and took another drag of his cigarette. Finally he asked, "Are you as tired of this as I am Malfoy?"

"What are you talking about Potter?" He could tell that Malfoy was very confused by his previous statement and the situation in general. The level of animosity he was projecting had rapidly decreased.

"This stupid rivalry thing we have going. I'm tired of it. You're tired of it. Doesn't that mean we can stop?" he asked. He ground his cigarette out and resisted the urge to light another one. Instead he settled for fiddling with the package.

"I have no idea what you're going on about Potter. I hate you." Malfoy stated with much more confidence that he felt.

He sighed and gazed up at the blond staring down at him. "Just drop it Malfoy," he said in a cold tone that was enough to remind Malfoy that Potter had stood up to the Dark Lord and lived to tell the tale, and do it again, and again.

Several minutes passed in silence and Malfoy continued to stare down at him and he continued to fiddle with his cigarette pack and stare out over the lake. He turned to the blond and gave him an appraising look before asking, or ordering, again, "Sit down Malfoy."

This time, Malfoy actually sat down. His body looked as if it were on autopilot until he shifted uncomfortable on the hard ground and looked out over the lake refusing to meet his eyes. He looked to be in deep thought about what had just happened between them and not sure quite how to take it.

"What are you doing out here Potter?" Malfoy finally asked and he cracked a slight smile.

He leaned back against the tree and stared up into its branches. "Trying to relax, I suppose," he replied, not knowing quite how to word it.

"Smoking?" He could almost sense Malfoy's smirk but the tone was almost humorous instead of biting.

"I may be the Savior of the Known Universe but even I can't be perfect," he replied with a smirk of his own. That should give him something to think about.

"You do a good job of fooling everyone then," Malfoy said with contempt once again coloring his voice.

Harry scoffed and replied, "Let them believe what they want. Me correcting them will only feed the press. That's the last thing I need."

"When did you get so smart Potter?" Malfoy asked with a raised eyebrow in Harry's direction.

He laughed lightly and shook his head causing his messy hair falling around his ears and into his eyes. He had learned that even growing it out didn't stop it from becoming a mess. "Last year. Around the time Dumbledore started tutoring me."

"So that's where you've been disappearing to!" he cried in astonishment. All signs of his normal mask were forgotten and he was pleased to see it. For once Harry didn't feel as if he was playing a role and he knew that Malfoy felt the same.

"You noticed?" he asked in mild disbelief.

Malfoy gave him a look that conveyed his answer plainly. "No shit I've noticed. I'm not as idiotic as you Gryffindor prats make me out to be."

He started laughing again at this and took a minute to calm himself before replying, "You're one of few. Ron didn't notice until Hermione pointed it out, and it took her at least a month and a half."

"Mudblood must be losing her touch," he said in a hateful tone that would be expected of him.

"Or I've just gotten better at hiding things," Harry countered with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Not going to yell at me for calling her a Mudblood Potter?" Malfoy asked and he could once again sense the mild disbelief in his tone.

"I know first hand that being lectured by those who have no right to do so is not an enjoyable experience," Harry said. He could feel anger brewing in his chest and took a breath to calm it. He could no longer afford to let his emotions rule his decisions.

"I guess you would know about that," Malfoy said distantly. He looked to be lost in thought and was once again staring out over the lake.

Harry nodded, although he knew Malfoy couldn't see him. "Of course, I am Dumbledore's pawn."

"You and Dumbledore aren't as close as everyone says are you?" Malfoy asked, turning toward him and arching an eyebrow. "You have too many secrets." he decided.

"Probably," he agreed to Malfoy's last statement with a hint of a smile, "We're closer actually, but our different view points get in the way a lot. We can never agree on any course of action."

"Is this why everything seems to be standing still right now? Nothing is happening, not even raids or murders," he mused to himself and Harry could tell that he was desperate for answers. It was strange to realize that no matter how few answers he had, the other students had even less.

"Yeah, I suppose. Me, Dumbledore, Voldemort, and the Ministry are all planning . . . something. We're not even sure what it is," he cut himself off. He couldn't even explain what was happening, or what was going to happen. There weren't words for it.

Malfoy looked at him curiously and asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"It isn't as if I've said anything of importance, or at least nothing usable in the war. Besides," he paused to stare at his childhood rival, "you won't tell anyone anyway." he said with perfect conviction.

"How do you do that?" Malfoy snapped suddenly. "Say things like that. You've so sure of yourself that, now, even if I wanted to tell anyone I don't think I would be able to." He sounded frustrated and Harry really couldn't blame him.

"I don't know how I do it. There's a lot of things about myself that I don't understand," he said. Harry licked his lips and began to fiddle with his cigarettes again.

"Now that I can believe," Malfoy replied with a derisive snort.

Harry smiled at him and Malfoy shook his head. "So Potter," he began, "what does this make us?"

"What do you mean?" he asked in return.

"Well, we've just held a conversation without insulting each other," he clarified. "What does that make us? Friends? Allies? Or just insane?"

"According to the rest of the student body it's the third option, but you're asking me and I say it's closer to the second one." Harry said with a nod in Malfoy's direction.

"So we're still not friends, eh?" he asked with a shrug. Harry resisted the urge to smile.

"I don't think we've quite reached that level Malfoy," he agreed.

Malfoy sighed and stared out at the lake again. "All right. I suppose I can live with that."

"What's your deal Malfoy?" Harry said, voicing the question that had been nagging at him since the beginning of the year. "I mean, whose side are you on?"

"Publicly or privately?" he asked in return and Harry rolled his eyes.

"I am already aware of your public views," he snapped. The entire school knew Malfoy's public views on the war, but he of all people knew that appearances could be deceiving.

"I'm on my own side," he said after a while.

Harry nodded in understanding. "Neutral then. You know that isn't going to last for long right?"

Malfoy paused before answering slowly, "I almost took the Dark Mark over the summer."

"What stopped you?" Harry asked, not really expecting an answer, but getting one nevertheless.

"I asked my father what I would have to do to join. Initiation I suppose," he paused and stared down at the ground. When he spoke again, his voice was laced with disgust. "He told me I would have to kill my mother since she was a liability. I told him I wouldn't be able to. I said that I didn't think I could handle a year of school bearing the Mark."

"Smart excuse," Harry mumbled. He was leaning back against the tree with his face turned up and his eyes closed, letting Malfoy's words wash over him.

"I suppose. She died anyway. My father killed her," he said in an offhand manner, but there was still pain behind those words. He could tell. It was easy to see his own grief reflected in Malfoy's eyes.

"Sorry," Harry said without infliction. It was a worn in statement that had lost all sincerity through too much use.

"It isn't like there is anything you could have done," he said in dismissal.

Harry shrugged, "Maybe not, but the whole war is my fault. I just apologize to everyone now."

"That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say Potter," Malfoy said in detached amusement.

"No, not really," he said with a shake of his head. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies."

"What the hell was that?" Malfoy demanded as soon as Harry had finished. Harry cracked an eye open and looked at Malfoy with an unreadable expression.

"The first part of a prophesy about me and Voldemort. You would have learned of it if you had joined the Death Eaters anyway. The full prophecy remains a mystery although both me and Dumbledore know it," Harry explained and Malfoy nodded.

"So you really are the Chosen One then?" he said and Harry could sense the twisted amusement he was getting out of this.

"Unfortunately," Harry replied in dislike. "Damn papers," he added to himself.

"We both have class tomorrow," Malfoy observed, looking up at the setting moon. "Potions will be fun first thing," he said sarcastically.

"Lucky you. I have a private session with Dumbledore and with how tired I'll be I'd almost rather have Snape," Harry replied with a tired sigh.

Malfoy chuckled and said in explanation, "You preferring Snape to Dumbledore. That's something I never thought I would hear."

Harry smiled at him. "I come around here any evening I can. Just in case you want a reason to get me into trouble, or if you want to talk."

He stood up and Malfoy followed suit. "I'll think about it Potter," he promised and Harry nodded his head in reply.

.x.

"Harry, where were you last night!" Hermione asked in a tone that was demanding and tinged with worry.

This happened every time but Harry continued to hold onto the hope that someday his best friends would get it into their heads that they didn't need to know every detail of his personal life. Or know where he was at all hours of the day.

"I told you Hermione. I was taking a walk. I had things to think about and I needed to relax without hearing you and Ron shouting at each other," he replied shortly and saw that the two had the decency to blush.

It had been eight days since he had had his chat with Malfoy by the lake and during normal school hours nothing had changed between them but privately they both held each other in a different light. Harry had been back to the lake twice in that time but hadn't met up with Malfoy. They both had busy schedules and he knew it would have been a miracle for them both to get away at the same time.

Besides, Harry didn't really mind that they hadn't spoken with each other. It was enough for him to know that Malfoy was staying neutral in the war, or at least that he was trying to. Tonight he was heading down to the lake after his occumency lessons with Snape, which started in about ten minutes.

"Look, Hermione. I know you care about me and want me to be safe, but I need my space. Okay? I have lessons to get to," he said before standing up and heading out of the common room and toward the dungeons.

When he arrived outside the door of Snape's office his temper toward his friends had diminished, but he was desperately wishing that he didn't have to have his lesson that day. All he really wanted was some time to himself. Harry raised his hand and knocked on the door three times in a row and waited, knowing that he probably would never have time to just think. At least, not while Voldemort was still alive in this world.

He waited about a minute before pushing the door open and walking into the room. He didn't have any time to waste and he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. He dropped his bag and looked up toward Snape's desk only to find that he wasn't the one in the room. A very familiar blond was standing next to Snape's desk looking nervous.

"Hey Malfoy," he greeted with a hint of a smirk. Finally, after eight days, they were alone together.

Malfoy looked surprised to see him. Much like he was the last time they met. "What are you doing here Potter?"

"You think Dumbledore's the only one giving me lessons?" he asked in mild amusement. This thing he had with Malfoy was proving to be more entertaining than he thought it would be.

"You mean, you and _Professor Snape_!" he exclaimed and Harry watched as his face was overcome with disbelief and a certain amount of irritation. "You hate each other."

"I never said we didn't hate each other," Harry said with traces of amusement still present in his voice. "We've just found a better way to channel it."

Malfoy fixed him with a questioning stare that made Harry want to burst out laughing. "And what would that be Potter?"

"Quite simple really," he replied promptly. "Hexing the living daylights out of each other."

Harry finally allowed himself to laugh when he saw the dry look Malfoy was giving him. "Figures," he heard the blond mutter under his breath.

After several more minutes of laughter Harry recovered enough to ask the question he had been wondering about since finding Malfoy there. "Why are you here Malfoy?"

"Like I'm just going to tell you, Potter!" he snapped. Harry could instantly see it for what it was, a survival reflex but chose not to comment. He merely rolled his eyes and turned toward the door a moment before Professor Snape entered.

It seemed that seeing him and Malfoy in the same room together looking only mildly irritated was enough to confuse Snape into a loss for words. He stopped halfway into the room and froze. Harry smiled a rather wide smile at this, proud of the fact that he had finally gotten one over his former Potions professor. Snape caught sight of his smile and sent a glare toward him.

"Potter! What are you doing?" he snapped in his standard "I'm annoyed with your existence" tone and Harry merely continued to smile. That had stopped working on him months ago.

"Well sir, I do believe that today is a Wednesday and every Wednesday we have lessons to make sure the Dark Lord doesn't puree my arse the next time we happen to meet up," Harry replied sarcastically. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy's lips twitch from repressing a smile.

Snape's glare intensified and Harry felt a twinge of regret. He would pay for that later. Snape would probably decide he needed a refresher course in the proper way to fight after being tortured by the Cruciatus Curse, or something like that. Harry stared down at his shoes with a groan. Snape brushed past him and over to where Malfoy was standing. They both knew that he didn't have to say anything. His message got across quite clear.

Malfoy and Snape talked in hushed voices that only really served to piss Harry off for trying to keep secrets from him again. He sighed and waited for them to finish talking about whatever it was they were talking about. When they did Malfoy straitened up and walked out of the room as he passed Harry he gave him a nod. "Potter."

"Malfoy," he replied in equally neutral tones before turning to face the menace that was Professor Snape. With a sigh he prepared himself for the worst.

.x.

When Harry finally dragged his sore and sorry self from Professor Snape's office two hours later, he wanted nothing more than to find a comfortable bit of floor and curl up and die. His joints were stiff from being hexed, forced under the Cruciatus, and then made to jump around the dungeon dodging more curses. Then of course he had had another Occulmeny lesson so his head felt like it was full of steel wool or something equally painful.

He definitely didn't want to go back to the tower in this condition. He knew that Ron and Hermione would be waiting for him and if they saw this it would lead to a lot of fussing and awkward questions that he didn't feel like answering. Harry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. More and more often he got the feeling that the so-called Golden Trio was breaking apart, or at least he was leaving it behind.

His feet carried him along the familiar corridors and twists and turns of the castle. He had always felt he shared a connection with Hogwarts. It was more his home than anything else was. Soon he was out of the entrance hall and on his way down to the lake. It was once again glistening with the light of the moon which was now only three days away from full.

But there was something else that was far more interesting to Harry than the moon. A certain blond in Slytherin robes was already seated in his customary spot by the edge of the lake. Harry shook his head very lightly so as not to make the pounding in his temple worse and walked over to Malfoy. He reflected that he probably looked a lot steadier on his feet than he actually was, but then again that was what his training was for.

He didn't pause for the invitation he knew Malfoy wouldn't offer, and sat down next to him, although they were at least a foot apart. Harry let out a sigh of relief for not having to stand anymore.

"You look like you were hit by a train," Malfoy said in response to his appearance though he didn't bother turning and facing him.

Harry merely glared at him. "You would look the same if you spend two hours dodging the Cruciatus."

"For the supposed good side you're rather reckless when it comes to curses that'll get you a life sentence in Azkaban," Draco drawled and Harry laughed.

"That's what I keep saying, but then again he was really just getting back at me for one upping him in front of you," Harry replied, still with a smile on his face. "Don't know why he cares though."

Malfoy finally turned his attention away from the lake and toward Harry, giving him a slight smirk that was humorous instead of degrading. Harry shifted in his seat and reached into his pockets to pull out his cigarettes. He pulled one out and placed it between his lips before reaching for his wand to light it. Malfoy watched the entire process in slight disgust.

"Why do you smoke Potter? It's such a vile, muggle thing," he spat, turning away from him, looking unsettled.

Harry took a drag of his cigarette and relaxed his shoulders. "It helps me relax. Don't knock it til you've tried it."

"I have no desire to try if that's what you're asking," he replied with a glare.

He shrugged in return and stared out at the lake. "I wasn't asking anything Malfoy."

They fell into silence, though it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as Harry had thought it would be. He continued to smoke, blowing out wisps of velvety smoke over the lake as he did so. He could feel Malfoy watching him out of the corner of his eye, and it was eerie to have those silver eyes on him. They looked much too bright in the light of the moon.

Harry finished up his cigarette and put it out in the grass before turning to look at Malfoy who didn't bother to hide that he had been staring. "Why were you in Snape's office Malfoy?" he asked with a certain intensity in his voice. He wanted to know, badly.

"I've told you already it is none of your business Potter," Malfoy said with irritation entering his voice. Harry sighed, knowing that he probably wasn't going to get information out of him.

"I've told you enough about my own life," Harry muttered with the same amount of irritation, but it was the truth. He wasn't whining, he told himself firmly.

Malfoy smirked, "That's your own choice, foolish Gryffindor."

Harry rolled his eyes at the childish insult before lying back against the ground, trying to soothe his aching muscles. "I really hate the Cruciatus Curse," he remarked as he reached up to rub the back of his neck again.

Malfoy snorted but didn't seem to think his remark warranted a better reply than that. A few minutes passed in silence before Malfoy asked, "Is this going to become a common occurrence?"

"Us meeting?" Harry asked and after receiving a shrug in reply answered, "I suppose so."

"I don't have anyone to talk to in Slytherin," Malfoy remarked. "Pansy fawns all over me because her parents told her I would make a suitable husband." He seemed to shiver at this and Harry didn't blame him. Marrying Pansy Parkinson was not the image of a happy future.

"Then of course there's Blaise and Theodore. Blaise acts all full of himself because his mother is some famous person, and Theodore always has his nose in some book or another even though he is still too thick to understand fifth year material," Malfoy continued in a bored drawl, rolling his eyes at his descriptions of his house mates.

Harry nodded in understanding. He didn't really have anyone in Gryffindor Tower either. It was either hero worship or nagging from his friends and he was sick of it.

"Me and Ginny are dating," he said in response. "I think she'll eventually want to marry me and Ron would kill me if I rejected his baby sister."

"Would you marry her to keep Weasley as your friend?" Malfoy asked dryly and Harry glared.

"Would you marry Pansy to please your parents?" he asked in return.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at him and muttered, "Touche."

"Him and Hermione both seem to think they know what's best for me," he said with a harsh laugh. "They barely even know me anymore."

"I get the feeling nobody knows you, Potter," Malfoy said in response, looking away from him and back out to the lake. Harry gazed up at the stars, giving a heavy sigh and agreeing with Malfoy's statement mentally.

"Transfiguration tomorrow," Harry remarked in an offhand way, bringing them back into safer conversation.

"Never finished my essay on Animagi," he responded with a slight frown as though he was remembering this for the first time since the essay had been assigned.

"Shame," Harry said in an uncaring voice. It wasn't his problem if Malfoy didn't do his homework.

Malfoy turned to him and gave him a long, studying look. "You hardly ever turn in homework."

Harry shrugged, not being able to deny this. It was true that he didn't have to turn in homework because of all the extra lessons he was taking. That and hunting for Voldemort and the Death Eaters, he was stretched too thin as it was.

"Dumbledore decided killing Voldemort and the Death Eaters was more important than schoolwork," Harry said wearily. He was already far too aware of hid childhood slipping away and the fact that he would never be a normal seventeen year old.

"You don't want to do this, do you Potter?" Malfoy asked him in a tone that told Harry he already knew the answer.

"No," he replied, "I'd give anything to have a chance at being a normal kid."

He stood up and dusted off his robes and heard Malfoy do the same behind him. "I'm free Friday evening, past nine," he heard him say and Harry smiled slightly.

"I'll be here."


	2. Chapter 2

Only You

Nic the Nefarious

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related character are property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made off this work.

Part the Second

It was past nine thirty before Harry was able to slip away to meet up with Malfoy at the lake. Under normal circumstances it would have been easy for him to slip away from Ron and Hermione and make it down to the lake, but several things had happened in the past two days that had made their guard on him double.

Five important families, each with members who were important to the ministry, had been murdered with the Dark Mark found above their homes. This meant the Wizengamot was down another three members and four Hogwarts students were left without either one or both of their parents. In addition to the murders it was discovered that several highly magical artifacts had been stolen from the houses that had been raided.

This meant that Harry had been in multiple meetings with Dumbledore, the Wizengamot, and the Minister of Magic. That with all the extra lessons, class work, and keeping up his appearance of a normal student had been enough to run him into the ground. There were slight dark circles under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped in exhaustion.

He had never asked for any of this and he didn't want any of it either. Harry couldn't see how Dumbledore had survived his position of most powerful wizard in the world for so long. He slowly trotted down the grounds and toward the lake, wondering about life in general and working on not falling asleep on his feet.

He finally got down to the lake and saw that Malfoy was already there, but Harry had thought that he would be so it wasn't really surprising. He was a bit late after all. He walked over and sat down next to Malfoy, who jumped a bit before regaining his composure and glaring.

"Hey Malfoy," he said before leaning back against the grass and letting his eyes flutter closed.

"Okay, Potter," Malfoy began in a sharp voice and he could feel his eyes on him. "What has been going on? You've been missing for the past two days!"

Harry opened an eye and fixed Malfoy with a glare. "I've been in class."

"You know what I mean! You haven't even been at meals," Malfoy ground out in frustration and Harry fully opened his eyes.

"Miss me, Malfoy?" he asked and shook his head at Malfoy's glare. "I've been at meetings."

Malfoy huffed and Harry gave him another glare. "That's all you're getting out of me this time."

"Whatever, Potter," he replied.

Harry sighed and let his eyes close again. "I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Then why the hell did you even show up then?" Malfoy demanded and although there was anger in his voice it was nothing like the anger Harry was use to hearing. He sighed and shifted his arms underneath his head.

"In case you forgot, this is my thinking place," he replied in a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

They fell into silence where Malfoy brooded and Harry ignored him. He knew that Malfoy really wanted to know what had happened and that he knew Harry was the only one that could tell him, but he didn't care. In his opinion Malfoy deserved it for not telling him why he was in Snape's office. After all he had no obligation to tell him anything at all. He was just doing it because... well he wasn't sure exactly. It just felt right.

"Nott's taking the Mark over Christmas," Malfoy finally said. His voice sounded resigned in Harry's opinion, as though he wasn't sure what he was doing was the right thing but felt he had no other choice.

Harry's eyes opened and he gave Malfoy a searching stare. "He told you this?" he asked in disbelief.

"Bragged about it is more like it," Malfoy scoffed. Harry smiled before turning away to scowl at the lake.

"Damn. We can't have any marked followers in the school. That's another meeting with Dumbledore right there, and I was hoping to avoid him for a while," Harry sighed. There was only so much he could handle of the Headmaster in a week and he was already pushing his limits.

"What are you going on about now?" Malfoy asked, or more like demanded, of him.

"Remember those meetings I mentioned early?" Harry asked in a condescending tone. "A lot of them were with Dumbledore, or involved him in some way."

"Must you be so frustrating, Potter?" Malfoy countered in the same tone.

Harry shrugged and smiled slightly as he replied, "Well I did learn from the best. You try dealing with Dumbledore as much as I do and not picking up his mannerisms."

"Does this mean you're insane too?" Malfoy asked with a hint of eagerness.

Harry shrugged. "Possibly, but I'm the Chosen One and until I defeat Voldemort no one will care if I'm sane or not. Afterwards as well if Dumbledore is anything to go by."

"Dumbledore is a genius, Potter, and you are not," Malfoy replied.

"Did you just say something nice about Dumbledore, Malfoy?" Harry asked with fake disbelief but cut him off before he could respond. "There is a lot you don't know about me."

"I am well aware of that Potter," he replied, once again sounding frustrated.

"If you say so," Harry said with another shrug. Malfoy might think that but it was really only himself and Dumbledore who knew the full extent of his power.

Harry settled into silence as he thought about how once upon a time he would have immediately told Ron and Hermione all about his studies and his powers, but now he knew better. Ever since the beginning of sixth year he had known that it wasn't always wise to tell everyone about himself. The best power was a secret power and he would need every bit of help if he was to defeat Voldemort.

Sixth year was when his lessons had started under Dumbledore, Mcgonagall, and Snape. It was kept a great secret and Ron and Hermione still hadn't figured out what was actually going on. Harry was barely even a Hogwarts student anymore. All of what he learned came from Dumbledore in what was nearly an apprenticeship, although that system had been replaced centuries ago.

This was all because there was no way he would learn what was needed in regular schooling. Normal wizards weren't suppose to know the Dark Arts and ancient rituals after all, and that was what Harry was learning. Some of it was horrible and he sincerely hoped he would never have to use it in real life.

At times he wished he could tell Ron and Hermione, if only to get them to leave him alone, but now he was so use to keeping secrets it would seem weird for them to know because he would have to deal with them all the time. Maybe that was why he could talk to Malfoy, they never really spoke to each other outside their meeting times, and when they did they were both playing a role.

He looked over at the blond. He was staring out over the lake and didn't seem to mind that Harry was once again staring at him. He was wearing robes, Malfoy was always wearing robes, but these were dark blue in color and made of a thinner material than the school robes. He briefly wondered what Malfoy would look like in muggle clothes. That was quickly followed by how much he thought he would have to pay him to find out.

Malfoy turned to look at him and raised a questioning eyebrow at his staring. Harry merely shrugged and looked up at the sky though he could feel Malfoy's eyes on him. Normally people staring annoyed the hell out of him, but with Malfoy it was different. Probably because he didn't have the fanatical gleam in his eyes like most people did.

"I'm tired of all this," Harry muttered, keeping his gaze fixed on the stars above. He made out the brightest star quickly, Sirius, the dog star. His heart gave a painful leap in his chest.

"So am I," Malfoy agreed in a completely neutral voice that held no emotion in it, and out of the corner of his eye he could see that his face was as expressionless as his voice.

"Maybe it is just me, but this war is completely pointless. All it is is death," he continued finally looking back at Malfoy with tired eyes.

"I may not like muggles and I certainly have no desire to interact with them," at this point Harry thought he saw Malfoy give a bit of a shudder, "but killing them doesn't do the wizarding world any good. And wizards are scare enough without killing off more of them."

"Elegantly put," Harry said with a slight nod in Malfoy's direction, "I believe Salazar Slytherin had similar beliefs. He thought the muggle and magical realms sound remain completely separated from each other. Muggleborns were known for attracting the wrath of their parents at the time."

"How do you know anything about Slytherin's beliefs?" Malfoy asked in wonder.

"Chatting with the Sorting Hat while in Dumbledore's office," Harry replied promptly, "Did you know Hogwarts was attacked by muggles — the parents of the muggleborns in attendance — and that's why the wards were developed?"

"Hogwarts was attacked... by muggles?" he reiterated slowly, as though his brain was having a difficult time with the concept.

"Yup. Kind of ironic isn't it?" Harry asked with a grin on his face.

"You know you sound crazy, right?" Malfoy asked with another raised eyebrow.

Harry shrugged. "Well I already told you my views on my sanity, didn't I?" he asked.

"You're insane, Potter, and I have no idea why I am here talking to you," Malfoy stated blandly. He still looked somewhat confused though Harry wasn't sure what about.

"I believe you mentioned something about not being able to talk to the Slytherins." Harry explained.

"Don't reminded me!" Malfoy groaned.

"When you were sorted did the Hat consider putting you in Ravenclaw?" he asked curiously.

"Not really. Why?" Malfoy asked in return, cupping his chin in his palm.

"I think you would like it there, that's all," Harry replied after a bit of contemplation. "Sometimes I think we should be resorted. Everyone has changed so much over the years our houses don't fit us anymore."

"I guess you're right. You've changed certainly," he said with a hint of his trademark smirk. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, plus I don't think I could argue with the Hat a second time," Harry said.

Malfoy's eyebrow rose. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Harry gave a hint of a smile before shaking his head. His hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it back again. "I don't think I should tell you that yet. Maybe next time we meet."

"You're not in a very giving mood today are you, Potter?" he asked in a surly voice.

Harry shook his head. "No, I'm tired and I don't really want to think about the past two days."

"We should be getting back. Quidditch is tomorrow," Malfoy reminded him and Harry's mouth dropped open.

"Oh shit! I completely forgot. Thank Merlin it's Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw," he said in relief. At least now he had a clearer idea of why Ron was mad at him. Forgetting quidditch was sacrilege in his book.

"The Great Harry Potter forgetting about quidditch! I thought the day would never come!" Malfoy called sarcastically.

"Oh shove off. I've been busy," he said and Malfoy scowled at the reminder that he still hadn't figured out what Harry had been doing.

"If you can slip off tomorrow after the game I'll be in the room of requirement," Harry informed him as he stood off and brushed off his jeans.

Malfoy nodded. "I'll try. No guarantees."

"Didn't expect any," he replied with a nod before setting off up to the castle.

.x.

The Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff match had actually been pretty exciting. Hufflepuff's team was doing a lot better this year, and the Ravenclaw seeker was probably the best that team has had in years. Still Harry was confident that the Cup would remain in McGonagall's office for another year. He was still the best seeker out there after all.

That had been one thing he had refused to give up, his position on the team. Maybe, he always thought to himself, if he survived the war he could play quidditch professionally. It was the one thing he was truly a natural at. Although in the end he did give up the captainship to Ron it was all worth it. Ron was doing great as a captain, he was an excellent strategist.

He had managed to lose Hermione and Ron in the crowd heading back up to the school from the pitch and was now headed in the direction of the room of requirement. He didn't expect to run into anyone, but doesn't it always happen when you least expect it?

"Harry?"

A soft, feminine voice came from behind him and he turned to see Ginny Weasley walking towards him. She looked very nice today in her soft blue blouse and jeans with her hair up in a ponytail. Harry really had nothing against Ginny and there were worse girls out there. She just wasn't the one, to be incredibly cheesy. Still, she was interested in him and he wanted to see her happy. It wasn't as if he had anyone else he wanted to go out with.

"Hi Ginny. You look nice today," he remarked with a soft smile. She blushed but managed to hold his gaze.

Harry offered her his hand and she took it shyly but firmly. "So," she began in a cheerful voice, "Great game, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. I honestly didn't think Hufflepuff would manage to pull together such a good team," Harry replied as they walked along the hall together.

"You don't have to worry though, their seeker is crap," Ginny said.

"I noticed, his dives are horrible. Then again he is only in third year," he replied. "He'll probably be better when he's older."

"Hogsmeade trip next weekend," Ginny remarked, changing the subject. "Are you going?"

"Nope," Harry replied. He hated going to the village nowadays. All that happened was that he got stared at and that wasn't worth the risk in his opinion. Ginny looked put out but nodded in understanding.

Harry bit his lip before smiling slightly. "Actually, I was thinking if you didn't have anything you had to do in the village, we could have a bit of a picnic out by the lake. Take advantage of the weather before it starts to snow."

She turned and smiled at him in that way that made her eyes light up with happiness. He really loved it when she smiled like that and that was what made it worth it to him. "That's sounds amazing Harry!" She exclaimed.

"It's not that much," he shrugged off her compliments. "As good a date as any. Besides, this way we won't have a bunch of people gawking at us. Or reporters." He shuddered.

Ginny continued to smile at him and they walked all the way back to Gryffindor Tower in relative silence, holding hands the entire way. "Alright Gin, I've got a bit of an errand to make. See you next weekend at eleven, sound good?"

"Great," she replied happily. Harry pulled her into a hug and gave her a soft kiss. They parted a few seconds later and Harry gave the Fat Lady the password. She scowled, muttering something about young love, and swung open.

Harry waved good bye to Ginny and set off again towards the room of requirement. He didn't know exactly how to feel about his date with Ginny. He didn't feel excited or nervous at all. This was just another aspect of his life as the Boy Who Lived he supposed, and that was all it would ever be. He could never be just Harry with Ginny.

He got to the room of requirement and the door sprang into existence as soon as he stepped towards it. That must mean Malfoy was already waiting then. Harry sighed and grasped hold of the handle before pushing the door open.

The room was like a small version of the common room except the colors were blue and green. There were a couple of chairs next to a fireplace and Harry saw that Malfoy was already sitting in one with a book in his lap. He found himself thinking that Malfoy really would have made a good Ravenclaw if he hadn't been so brainwashed by his father.

"Malfoy." He smiled when Malfoy merely looked up from his book and rolled his eyes in Harry's direction. That was the first time he hadn't managed to startle him.

"Good book?" he asked. Harry pointed to the book that was still clasped loosely in his hands.

"Average," he replied with a shrug.

Harry looked at the title of the book. It appeared to be some sort of advanced Potions book. "You seem to have the same taste in books as Hermione."

"Don't insult me, Potter," Malfoy replied with a scowl.

"What?" Harry asked with a grin. "It's true! Hermione's the only other person I know who would actually read something like that."

"Just because I enjoy reading doesn't mean I am anything like the Mudblood," replied Malfoy angrily.

"Is it really such a bad thing to be compared to Hermione. It just means I think you're smarter than average, and might have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with reading really boring books," Harry replied with a pleading note to his voice.

"Oh, thanks for the reassurance, Potter," Malfoy said sarcastically.

Harry flushed slightly and sat down in the chair opposite Malfoy's. He found, much to his liking, that the chairs were very soft and comfortable. "Happy to give it, Malfoy," he replied cooly, refusing to give in to the taunting. "Got any plans for Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"If you're offering—" Malfoy began but Harry cut him off.

"Oh shut it, Malfoy," he snapped.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and Harry scowled. "I'm going with Dorea Moon."

"Slytherin girl number three?" Harry asked. "The blonde?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Pansy getting on your nerves again?" Harry asked with a hint of a smirk.

"When is she not on my nerves?" Malfoy asked rhetorically. "Of course I'm not going with her. I would never think of getting her hopes up."

Harry nodded in sympathy, uniting with Malfoy for a brief moment against the terror of Pansy Parkinson. "What's Moon like in the war?"

"Her parents are both healers. I'm betting she's neutral," Malfoy said and rested his chin in his palm. "The girls don't really care about the war. As long as they marry into good families their parents don't mind."

"So I've heard," Harry said. "Though I find the belief horribly archaic."

"It is archaic." Malfoy said with an air of superiority.

Harry sighed and buried his head in his hands. Sometimes he had to wonder why he was risking his neck to save a world that was so stupid. "If I actually manage to destroy Voldemort and come out alive, I'm using whatever pull I have to get someone good elected as Minister."

"There's no such thing as a good politician," Malfoy remarked helpfully.

Harry continued to bury his head in his hands. "Well I'm at least putting a muggleborn in charge."

"The purebloods wouldn't stand for it!" Malfoy exclaimed in outrage.

"Purebloods are stuck up morons who wouldn't recognize a good leader if they smacked them around the head," Harry replied coldly.

"We are not!" Malfoy yelled.

Harry gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Voldemort" and Malfoy turned a rather unflattering shade of pink.

"Right," Malfoy said and Harry smirked as he changed the subject. "What about you Potter?"

"I have a date with Ginny," Harry replied carelessly.

"You sound excited," Malfoy said blandly.

Harry merely shrugged. "I dunno. She's nice and everything, and I'm sure I would be happy with her and all that, but she doesn't... I can't be myself with her."

"Sounds like she would be the perfect pureblood wife then," Malfoy replied with a shrug. "As long as you don't feel the urge to kill the girl and she wants you, she is the right one."

"That's bullshit," Harry replied crossly.

Malfoy shrugged, "Is it?"

He let out a sigh. "Is it wrong to want something more than that?"

"I'm not your friend, Potter. Don't look to me for advice on your love life," Malfoy replied with a sneer.

"I never said you were my friend, Malfoy. That would just be too weird for me," Harry replied. It wasn't that he didn't want to be Malfoy's friend it was just that it would feel wrong. Him and Malfoy were never meant to be friends, that was obvious. They were something different to each other.

"You're right. Being friends would feel wrong, and it would mean we would have to stop our childish rivalry and we can't have that," he said sarcastically.

Harry laughed a bit at that and Malfoy soon joined him. It was strange to hear him laughing. Harry couldn't remember ever having heard Malfoy laugh in a natural way, not that guffawing laugh he used to make fun of people.

"I think if we started acting like friends Ron would drop dead of shock," Harry said with a smile still on his face.

Malfoy's eyes glinted and he responded, "Maybe we should give it a try then."

"Merlin! You and Ron are way worse than the two of us. Actually, you and Ron started this whole thing! I was just dragged into it!" Harry said in mock outrage.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "The Malfoy/Weasley feud has been going on for decades."

"Oh, that's a good reason to be fighting," he said with a fair amount of sarcasm.

"You wouldn't understand," Malfoy replied and Harry rolled his eyes at the utter absurdity of that statement.

"That's just a bluff and you know it. You just don't want to admit that you have absolutely no idea why you've fighting!" Harry exclaimed.

"Don't be even more of an idiot Potter. The Weasleys are poor, overbearing blood traitors," he replied disdainfully.

"Those are Lucius' reasons for hating them," Harry said coldly. He fixed Malfoy with a stare. "I want to hear Draco's."

Apparently the use of his first name startled him. He gaped at Harry for a moment before recovering. "He's a Gryffindor."

"Petty school rivalry? We're adults Malfoy," Harry replied scathingly.

"He's made my life hell for seven years!" he yelled.

"And you've done the same thing to both of us!" Harry yelled back. He calmed himself before saying, "There's no good reason to keep this up Malfoy! Can't you see that? I know you're smart, you've proved that."

It was only then that Harry realized they were both on there feet. He couldn't even remember when that had happened. Also there faces were only a few inches apart. He felt a strange urge to blush at how close together they were but shrugged it off. He straitened up and Malfoy did the same. They both slipped into their own thoughts for a while before Malfoy finally caught his attention.

The blonde held out his hand in offering of a truce. "Fine then. Let's settle this once and for all. Truce between us."

Harry hesitated before grasping Malfoy's hand and shaking it. "Truce," he replied.

"Does this mean we're finally on first name basis?" Malfoy asked and Harry stopped short at the question. He hadn't really thought of that, but it did make sense.

"I suppose it does... Draco," he replied uneasily.

"Alright then," he took a deep breath before adding, "Harry."

.x.

Harry's truce with Draco Malfoy wasn't known to anyone else in the school, and that was the way it had to stay for now. They had already agreed that it would be best until Voldemort was dead and buried. Especially since Draco's house would kill him if they found out about it and Harry didn't want that to happen. Now that Draco was on his side he found that he actually cared if he got killed.

He still felt weird calling him Draco, but in some ways it felt better. If he called him Draco it was easier to put aside everything he knew about the Malfoy family and just focus on him as a person. He suspected Draco felt the same way about him.

They had only met with each other once again after Saturday and that was after Harry's lessons with Snape on Wednesday. Now it was Saturday again and the day of Harry date with Ginny. He was happier now about it than when he had first suggested the idea and he couldn't help wondering how Draco was doing on his own date with Slytherin girl number three.

He was wearing muggle clothes like he always did when he didn't have to be in uniform. Even after all these years as a wizard he still disliked the long, flowing robes. They certainly didn't help any in a fight. Nope, plain jeans were much better.

Currently he was standing in front of the mirror and fiddling with his hair. He was dressed in fitted, black jeans and a emerald green sweater that matched the color of his eyes. It was a bit chilly out but still quite sunny so he figured he wouldn't need a heavier jacket. Harry was also very glad that he was of age and had moved away from the Dursleys the previous summer. It had allowed him to buy a new wardrobe, and after finding out just how rich he was he had gone a bit crazy with buying everything in sight.

He finally just ran his fingers through his hair and called it good enough. It would never lay flat so why bother? He tucked his wand into his sleeve and walked down the staircase to wait for Ginny in the common room.

She came down about ten minutes later looking very pretty. She was wearing creamy brown pants that were a bit low on her hips and allowed him to catch a glimpse of the skin of her stomach. She was wearing a light pink blouse with long sleeves and her hair was down around her shoulder.

"You look beautiful," he told her as he met her at the bottom of the stairs. He leaned in and kissed her passionately.

As they pulled away Ginny smiled at him and gave him a once-over. "And you look very charming yourself. Ready to go?"

"Let's." He offered her his hand before leading her out the portrait hole and off towards the grounds. Just another aspect of his life as the Boy Who Lived, he reminded himself as he leaning in to softly kiss her neck.


	3. Chapter 3

Only You

Nic the Nefarious

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made off this work.

Part the Third

The last time he had seen Draco had been two weeks ago. They had found another horcrux and it was up to Harry to destroy it. This one was hidden in the wilderness of China, which Harry could now firmly say was not a place you wanted to spend your vacation time.

He had brought it back to the school and destroyed it eight days ago and had been spending his time since then recovering from several horrible injuries. The worst being the burns he had suffered from the dragons that had appeared as soon as he got anywhere near the damn thing, although the broken leg was a definite second.

The entire thing was a blur to him now as he had been running on pure adrenaline most of the time. It was a blur of pain and fire and a need to succeed and bring him one step closer to destroying the Dark Lord.

Harry hated fighting, it wasn't something he had ever enjoyed doing. Sure he liked dueling on a competitive level, but the idea of war had never appealed to him because of how pointless it seemed and because he hated seeing other people die. Even though he didn't like it, fighting was a part of him and he knew he would continue to do it in some way until he died. It was a strange thing for him to realize, but it was becoming clearer and clearer now that there was only two horcruxs left. Nagini and one other. Then all he would have to do would be hit Voldemort with the killing curse.

Another thing that he had realized when he was in private chambers in the school recovering from his injuries was that he missed Draco. It wasn't on a higher level, it was mainly just that he missed their talks. He missed having someone around to throw petty insults and sarcasm at and who would do the same thing to him. So many people were afraid of telling him to sod off, it was ridiculous.

He had only been having these little meetings with Draco for about a month but already he felt they had a certain understanding for each other. They knew how to get each other riled up but they both knew when to stop asking questions too. He would often give Draco just enough information to get him questioning but not say anything more. Mostly because he would muse out loud. Draco wouldn't often talk about himself but when conversation stilled he would offer up information either about himself or the other Slytherins.

It was the end of November now and Harry could see a thin layer of snow over the grounds from his window. He would be rejoining classes the following day. He hadn't been able to attend for the past eight days and he knew questioning stares would be given. The situation had already been explained to Ron and Hermione who in turn told Ginny.

The three of them had been by a couple times in the past few days after he was actually coherent and Ginny had spent a lot of time talking with him to keep him busy and his mind off the war. Of course she did get a bit annoying after a while, so he shut her up by kissing her. She was actually very smart but there was only so much he could handle of her talks.

Then of course Dumbledore had been by to meet with him and see how he was doing. The horcrux, which was originally a necklace that once belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw was now being kept in Dumbledore's office. He also told Harry that no new attacks had been made but Harry knew this wouldn't last for long.

Every time after Harry destroyed one of the horcruxs Voldemort went on a killing spree. For every bit of Voldemort's soul they destroyed, hundreds of muggles and wizards lost their lives. It always made Harry sick to his stomach thinking about it. This war would completely decimate the wizarding world if it went on for much longer. He hoped that they would be able to locate the second to last horcrux quickly, and hopefully prevent a manslaughter.

.x.

"Where the fuck were you!" Draco yelled at him. His cheeks were pink with anger and he hadn't even bothered to sit down.

They were back at the lake, with a portable fire in a jar between them to wade off the cold, and it was a bit past eight o'clock at night on Monday. True to prediction Draco Malfoy was pissed at him. Harry looked up at the angry blond and sighed heavily.

"Calm down Draco and I'll tell you," he replied wearily. He still wasn't feeling his best. After all destroying people's souls takes a lot of magic to pull off.

Draco took a deep breath and glowered at Harry, who ignored him pointedly. Finally Draco sat down next to him and waited for Harry to continue. Instead Harry merely pulled out his cigarettes and busied himself with lighting one. After taking a few drags and feeling himself relax marginally he turned to Draco and sighed again.

"I suppose the easiest answer for me was that I was in China for six days and recovering from my injuries here at Hogwarts for eight days after that," he said and although his voice was still tired it was more relaxed now.

"May I ask why you were in China?" Draco said derisively.

Harry sighed and took another drag on his cigarette before even thinking about replying. Maybe he should have waited a few more days before going back to class. His magic was still almost completely drained and he would get lightheaded at the oddest of times. Finally looked back at Draco and said, "Well that is top secret, completely classified information. If I told you, I would have to kill you."

"Cut the dramatics, Harry!" Draco ground out as frustration slipped back into his voice. Whenever Harry replied in a vague, unhelpful manner it seemed to get Draco riled up, which is why Harry made a point of doing it so much around him.

"I'm not being dramatic. I really would have to kill you, or obilivate the hell out of you. Whichever you prefer," he replied in a serious tone. After catching the look Draco was giving him he added, "I can tell you that we are now only three steps away from killing Voldemort once and for all."

"Three steps? That's it? You would think this Dark Lord killing business might be a bit harder," Draco mused aloud which caused Harry to turn and give him a deadly glare.

"Try getting chased through the Chinese wilderness by dragons before saying that," he snapped in anger. He did not spend eight days recovering from severe burns and a broken leg to have Draco downplaying the whole thing.

"Dragons?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. "Dragons."

"How do you survive all this stuff, Potter?" he asked in bewilderment.

"Luck and being underestimated," Harry replied before adding, "And I thought you were calling me Harry, Malfoy."

"Old habits die hard," he answered with a shrug. "I've been calling you that for seven years."

"It's as good an excuse as any," Harry said with a shrug and Draco gave him a glare.

They spent an awful lot of time glaring at each other when they were talking, Harry found himself noting. He readily admitted that there was something about Draco's eyes when they were chilled with anger that he found fascinating. Almost as much as he loved seeing Ginny's when they were sparkling with laughter.

He refused to dwell on that thought though and it was his subconscious that took the role in playing up Draco's anger so he could see him lose his typical Malfoy cool and act all flustered and annoyed with him.

"Anything happen while I was gone?" Harry asked. He sincerely wanted some news that wasn't Ron and Hermione's, as they always seemed to fear making him unhappy or upset and so all he got out of them was who was leading in house points and rubbish like that, or Dumbledore's insanity and vagueness.

"Ravenclaw is ahead in house points," Draco said in an airy voice complete with smirk.

Harry found himself once again glaring at the blond before replying, "You know what I mean Draco. I want real news."

Draco sighed and stared up at the sky for a minute or so in which time Harry put out his cigarette and stretched out on the grass as he often did. "Not much. Rumors swirled for about a week after you disappeared. The Slytherins acted worried and excited at the same time. They all thought you had been abducted by the Dark Lord, or something like that." At this Draco rolled his eyes and Harry chuckled.

"After about a week and a half everyone just gave up on you and figured they didn't really care in the first place," Draco finished with a shrug.

"Typical," Harry muttered under his breath.

"I knew you were coming back," he said in conviction and Harry gave him a questioning stare.

Draco fidgeted under his gaze and turned away before he said, "It was just a feeling. Besides I'm one of few that actually knows you spend most of your time popping in and out of existence around the school."

"I guess that counts for something then," he replied carelessly. "When I first got back Ginny was sobbing all over me like I was already dead." He shook his head sadly.

"Oh yeah, you and Weaslette," Draco said as though he was remembering something horrible and traumatic.

"What's wrong with Ginny? Aren't you the one that said we would have the perfect marriage?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

Draco sighed and fidgeted again. "Is it really such a problem that I don't want to hear about you and Weasley?"

"No need to flip out over something this stupid. Though I still don't see what you have against Ginny," he said, frowning slightly.

"I don't have anything against her!" Draco snapped although Harry noted that he said this much more quickly than was necessary. "Anyway, I'll see you sometime later."

"Yeah. Friday possibly, Saturday definitely. I don't have lessons with Snape this week so don't look for me there," Harry told him. Then he settled into the slightly snow covered grass and stared up at the star filled sky.

"Right," Draco said under his breath, "Leave the fire?"

"Yeah, I'm staying out a bit longer," Harry replied easily, not turning away from the stars above. He could hear Draco's shoes crunching on the snow as he made his way back up to the castle.

.x.

The attack they had been fearing since the destruction of the horcrux came two weeks later. It was a beautiful winter day, the second Wednesday in December, and somehow the beauty of the day made it seem worse in Harry's eyes. He found out before anyone else did. Which was how it always happened now that he was Dumbledore's little protégée.

There was always one question that he never wanted to ask but always had to. Did he know anyone that was killed in the attack? No matter where the attack was there was always the chance that someone he knew personally died, because the Order responded to attacks all over the country.

Dumbledore had given him a sad, weary look. Harry feared that look like no other. It was the look that told him that he was about to hear something he didn't want to know. Fleur's little sister Gabrielle had been killed. Her and Fleur's parents were on vacation in the South of France where the attack at occurred.

He remembered Gabrielle from Fleur and Bill's wedding. She had been a bride's maid along with Ginny and one of Fleur's friends from school. She had been wearing light gold robes and had asked in a shy voice if she could dance with him. He had been her hero ever since he had saved her in his fourth year.

As soon as he left the Headmaster's office he knew that he had snapped. Nothing mattered to him anymore, least of all the fact that over six hundred people had just lost their lives and it was all his fault. He wandered the halls in a daze that couldn't be broken, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Potter!" Draco's alarmed voice came from somewhere towards his left. Harry shook his head to clear away the fog that continued to cloud his vision..

"Hello Malfoy," he greeted. His tone was warm and slightly hysterical, "Beautiful fucking day! Isn't it?"

"What the hell is wrong with you Potter?" Draco asked in the same alarmed voice, though now it was tinged with worry.

"Six hundred and fifty seven people died today," Harry stated with a warm, pleasant smile, and that same hysterical note tinging his voice.

Draco's eyes widened in shock and fear. "What are you going on about Potter?"

"Five hundred and ninety three muggle, forty four magical. One of which was Gabrielle Delacor," Harry paused in his insane musing to fix Draco with a lazy smile, "sister to Fleur Delacor who is the wife of Bill Weasley. Small world isn't it?"

"Are you drunk Potter?" Draco yelled in disbelieve and fear. Harry merely continued to smile that lazy smile at him.

"No," he said with a shake of his head, "but I wish I was."

Draco seemed to be stunned into silence, but Harry didn't mind in the least. He wasn't even entirely sure who he was talking to. It might have been Hermione, or Dumbledore, or even Fate herself, but it didn't matter one bit. All he knew was that he needed to say all this.

He walked over and linked arms with Draco, who was too stunned by the way Harry was acting to do anything to stop him, and set off down the hall.

"Have you ever wanted to just wake and find out that your entire life has been a dream?" he asked. "Sometimes I wish that I had never found out I was a wizard. Or that the entire wizarding world is just a hallucination and I've been in a coma for seven years. Tomorrow I'll wake up and the Dursleys will be raging at me for medical expenses."

Draco was leading them now and Harry didn't know where he was being taken, but found that he didn't care much about that either. He let his head drop again and his bangs fell to cover his face. His throat was burning from unshed tears.

"How many has it been?" he asked himself quietly, letting his eyes fall closed. "How many deaths have I caused? How many families have I torn apart?"

The next thing he knew there was a stinging pain on the left side of his face and everything around him became much clearer. He was in the room of requirement with Draco standing in front of him. The blond's hand was raised and Harry realized that he must have slapped him, Draco also looked furious with him.

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!" he yelled and bristled at the harsh voice in his ears. "Stop being such a goddamn martyr!"

Harry's mouth fell open and his brain was having immense difficulties coming up with a reply, or even processing what Draco said.

"As much as it might kill you to hear this Potter, the world doesn't revolve around you!" he continued to yell and Harry continued to stare.

Draco's eyes flashed in anger. "Did ever occur to your tiny, self-sacrificing brain that maybe the Dark Lord might have had _something_ to do with this!"

"It was still my fault! If I had never been born none of this would be happening!" Harry yelled back and felt the tears he had been repressing for so long threatening to leak down his cheeks. His throat was sore from repressing sobs.

"If you had never been born Voldemort would never have been stopped the first time!" Harry was once again stunned into silence when he heard Draco freely say the Dark Lord's name. Draco took a deep breath and continued in a somewhat calmer voice, "Your birth prevented the world from falling into Voldemort's hands sixteen years ago."

"But my birth has caused the death of thousands of innocent people," he said in what bordered on a strangled sob.

Draco sighed, "Death is a constant of life, Harry, you can't change it and you can't prevent it. It becomes even more common during war."

"Is it so much to ask to live in a time of peace?" Harry asked, more to himself than to Draco.

"It is while humans still rule the world," Draco said with a hint of a smirk. "Vile creatures the lot of them. The only species that kills for no apparent reason."

Harry felt a smile tugging the corners of his lips. He took a deep breath to calm his thoughts. "I want out of this Draco. I want it so bad I can taste it."

Draco sunk down into one of the soft, comfortable chairs the room had provided and Harry followed his example. "No one wants to be part of war," Draco stated.

"I'm losing the last shreds of my sanity Draco. If I keep doing this I'm going to go insane," he said in a choked voice. He didn't want to break down in front of Draco, or at least, any more than he already had.

Draco looked almost sympathetic for a moment before his standard uncaring mask was back on his face. "Everyone will still love you even if you are insane, if that's what you're worried about. You're _Harry Potter _after all." He said this as if it solved everything.

Harry gave a hollow laugh and buried his face his the sleeves of his robe to wipe the unshed tears from his eyes. "I don't care about what everyone else thinks of me," he said in a tired voice that seemed to have lost all emotion after his breakdown.

"That's such bullshit and you know it Potter," Draco told him with an amused snort. "You care more about what everyone thinks of you than anyone I've met. If you really didn't care you wouldn't be slinking around the school hiding from everyone."

"You're the same way Malfoy, and I can't tell anyone what I'm doing since I'm _Harry Potter _as you so kindly stated," Harry replied with a hint of his old emotion and self showing through.

"Thanks for proving my point," Draco said with a superior look on his face.

Harry glared at him. "You ungrateful, inbred little—"

"I am not inbred!" Draco exclaimed indignantly.

"Denial isn't justa river in Egypt," he replied carelessly.

"You'd know that wouldn't you," Draco shot back in scathing tones. Harry continued to glare at him out of bloodshot eyes.

"Well there's one thing that will always stay the same," Harry remarked.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "And that is?"

"We'll never be able to go fifteen minutes without arguing with each other," he stated.

"As it should be."

Harry laughed.

.x.

Only a few days later it was time for his friends to depart for the holidays and Harry was no longer dwelling on the attack that had happened and the breakdown he had in the room of requirement with Draco that followed it. He was currently waiting at the foot of the girl's stairs in the common room for Ginny and Hermione to come down.

Harry was the only one of his friends staying for the holidays and no matter how many times he said that he would be fine he knew that they were still worried about him. It was almost as if they thought he would kill himself without them there to entertain them. He snorted softly in amusement at the mere thought of something that ridiculous (though probably close to the truth) and continued to wait.

He and Draco hadn't seen each other again and wouldn't until the end of the holidays. There was even the slim chance that Draco wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts and that his father would force the Mark upon him. Though Harry would never admit it, he was scared for Draco's life. He wanted for him to see the end of the war and not have to live life with the mark of Voldemort's slavery marring him.

What he still couldn't figure out was why exactly he cared so much about Draco. So he knew that the Slytherin stirred something up within him and he had once known that to be hate, but now the hate was gone and that same feeling remained. It scared him sometimes how powerful it was, especially since it was one of the strongest emotions he felt and the fact that it was towards Draco!

He shook the thought out of his mind as Ginny came down the stairs with her trunk levitating behind her. When they met at the landing she gave him a hug and a kiss which he returned. Even though he and Ginny had been dating for three and a half months (them having got together at the beginning of the year) he still didn't feel any real passion in their relationship. He had once thought that feelings would develop over time but not anymore.

It was just as Draco had told him before in their discussions over their respective dating agendas, he and Ginny were the perfect pureblood couple. Well suited politically and financially speaking and although he felt no real love for her he still didn't want her to die. Harry knew that he could have a perfectly decent marriage with Ginny but it wouldn't be exciting. A relationship with her would never make him wonder or keep him on his toes. He would never have to really think.

So what did he want then? He had no idea of who he really liked. His thoughts immediately turned back to Draco and the passion the two of them seemed to share and that odd feeling he got whenever they talked to each other and he nearly bit his tongue. He didn't want to think of such things. They would never happen and even if they did they would be impossible to act upon.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Ginny's voice broke through the mist that had seemed to gather in front of his eyes as he thought.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," he said with a wave of his hand. "I'll miss you over the holidays Gin."

It was a lie but it appeared to have worked on her. "You can visit anytime and mum is expecting you for Christmas dinner," she told him with an excited smile.

"Oh perfect. Now I'll have to be 'the boyfriend', won't I?" he asked with a joking grin and Ginny smiled.

"Of course, but don't worry, mum loves you already," she said.

"It's your brothers I'm worried about," Harry muttered under his breath. Ginny laughed before leaning up to kiss him.

"You'll be fine." She continued to smile at him and Harry turned to gaze at the stairs.

"When's Hermione coming down?" he asked. Usually Hermione was always on time for everything.

Ginny suddenly started to giggle. "She's stressing out about what to wear to impress my oh so lovely brother."

"And I'm guessing she doesn't realize that she could wear a plastic bag and he would still be madly in love with her?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Aparently not," Ginny said. "Amazing how she knows all the schoolwork by heart but in the way of love she is totally clueless."

"Amazing," Harry agreed with a grin. "Let's head down, shall we? The lovebirds will probably be a while."

They started down to the entrance hall with Ginny's levitating bags following them. The two of them chatted about small things. Or rather, Ginny chatted and Harry listened while putting in the occasional statement. About halfway there they ran into none other than Draco Malfoy himself. Harry gave a mental sigh. Great, time for play-acting.

"Malfoy," he said with as much venom as he could muster.

Draco sneered at him. "You and your future wife, Potter? Planning on finally joining the _esteemed _Weasley family?" he asked sarcastically.

"Shove off Malfoy. I don't have time to deal with Death Eater pricks," he replied scathingly. He pushed past Malfoy, purposely brushing shoulders with him and he felt something slip into his pocket.

"What a jerk!" Ginny exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot.

Harry merely smiled at her and wound an arm about her waist. "What do you mean? He didn't even insult me."

Ginny blushed scarlet but let her head fall down onto Harry shoulder. He slipped a hand into his pocket and felt a folded up slip of paper.

.x.

H,

My plans have changed and I'll need you to come and get me before Christmas if you want me to make it back on time.

In haste,

D


End file.
